I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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