So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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