I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
