She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
