Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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