I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
