haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize