at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
