Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
