And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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