just survived the first fart of the relationship.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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