I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
