Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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