Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
