I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize