just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize