After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
