too bad you live with your parents still
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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