I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
