There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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