More tranny stories later!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
