Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
