I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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