her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
