i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
