I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
