but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
