so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Randomize