carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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