Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
