She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
