do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
