so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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