You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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