I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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