How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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