what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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