we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
this is an emotional support booty call
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
