Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
