I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
