So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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