He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
