What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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