in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
