Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
