foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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