the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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