i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
What drink are we having for lunch?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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