I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
