"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
