I think I just saw someone hide a body.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
