I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I am morally bankrupt
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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