Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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