how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
