Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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