my phone needs a breathalizer
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
