Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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