my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
