friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
