Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
