you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
