that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
not ubering you a puppy
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
