i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
