I cut my penus on the lid.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
try to milk me bitch
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize