Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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